Let's be honest- What girl between the ages of 13 and 27 hasn't dreamed of dating a musician? Constant serenades, free concerts, the envy of every other girl around... sounds great, right? Yes, there are definitely plenty of perks. Like the out-of-the-blue audio message of an adorable cover of a 50s love song that only your ears have heard him sing. Or having a soundtrack to literally anything you do together. Going on a road trip? Laying in bed? Having sex? He has the perfect songs picked for any occasion. Or how about the perfectly written texts and love letters, the goofy made up songs sang just to see a smile on my face, and we can't forget that when he speaks his voice sounds like butter, or the ocean, or rain, or whatever other analogies can be made for describing the voice of an angel.
But I'm sure I'm not the first to say that sometimes it can absolutely suck. You all probably know how hard it can be to make plans with any man. But making plans with a musician boyfriend is, in actuality, more like making plans with 4 men (or more if we count management and producers). Between gigs, practice, studio time, and just random jam sessions in a basement that doesn't get cellphone service that were only supposed to last an hour but last five instead, it's sometimes a near impossible and exhausting task to set up a date night. I've learned to memorize my boyfriend's schedule better than he does. Once I actually reminded him about a gig he had completely forgotten about. I know to always check the band's website for any upcoming shows before even mentioning any plans. And even when plans are made, I know in the back of my mind there's a good chance they'll get bumped. I also know that 8pm plans will more than likely turn into midnight plans. It just happens. And even though I'm used to it, I can't say it doesn't annoy me sometimes.
And as for being the envy of every other girl around? Sometimes it's more of being envious of every other girl around. It's hard to not get jealous occasionally. I trust my boyfriend 100%, and I know he would never do anything to hurt me, but it does bother me to see a drunk girl at the bar who can't even remember the name of his band try to make a move. I just always have to remind myself that I'm the one going home with his sexy (and definitely sweaty) self after his shows.
Then there's tour. I guess I can't technically complain about tour because I have yet to be dating him while he's gone for an extended period of time (the one he was on when we first started talking doesn't count. At that point in time he wasn't yet real in my eyes). But I'm preparing myself for tour. I'm prepared for gaps in communication and constantly missing him... as well as him missing out on important (and not-so-important) things happening in my life. I already know he'll be gone for my graduation. And he'll most likely be gone on our anniversary. He'll be gone when bands we both love are in town (but as far as that goes I just make up in my mind that some day we'll be going to those shows for free and we'll be best friends with the band). I already know tour is going to suck.
Despite all the crap that comes along with dating a musician, it's totally worth it. Because this man makes me happier than anyone else I've ever met. He's also helped me become a relatively patient person (believe it or not). With him, the bumps along the way aren't so bad. Because I'm important to him. Although I don't think I'll ever really come before the band, the band and I are on the same level. He cares about us in different ways, but he cares. We get each other, we understand what has to be done to keep this relationship working. We flow together. We're kinda like a set of playground swings. Every once and a while we get a little out of sync, but we're still always next to each other. And when we line up juuuust right, it's the coolest and best feeling in the world.
